Last year, I was literally up and about helping patients and love ones cope up with burnout amidst this pandemic. This year, I got burned and I had hard time dealing with it.
Growing up out of poverty and trained as an orthopedic surgeon, I am very confident of my “grit” and “resilience”. I could streetsmart myself out of any crisis or navigate a disaster, unscathed. I am usually called in to lead a team in crisis particularly because of “grit and resilience”. Moreover, Filipinos are known for our grit and resilience having been battered by disasters year in, year out. We usually just joke around these hardships like a regular daily occurrences. No wonder why burn out is overrated among us.
Well, not until this COVID-19 pandemic.
T1. How should I know I’m burned out?
Various studies have shown that 50-70% of health workers experienced burnout during this COVID-19 pandemic. I was expecting health worker burnout to happen anytime soon, but not me. It’s always easy diagnosing a disease when its afflicting someone else. But not me. I went about the business of leading a healthcare team fighting COVID-19 and spearheaded another organization’s learning and digital transformation. I even managed to set up a counselling program for burnout health workers in one institution. Yet, in the months that follow, I noticed the veil of burn out creeping in. Despite the perceived success of many endeavors I led, I felt achieving nothing. I can empathize with the emotional exhaustion of my colleagues, yet I “constructively” deny my own exhaustion. I worked and spend some more time on work. “Maybe this could solve more problems”. Personal tragedies filled up, fuses shortened and the volcanic, emotional outburst showed “the cracks”.
I am burned. I haven’t accepted it just yet, but I am definitely burned.
T2. What are the consequences of a health worker burn out?
What compelled me to accept this is ironically, the grim consequence it could bring not just to myself, but to the entire health care institution. It can and will probably cost lives- Mine or others. I’ve seen colleagues resigning or shifting to other less risky careers. I’ve talked to some who swear not to hold the stethoscope ever again. I’ve seen wards and hospitals shut down because of health worker shortages. I’ve seen patients got worse simply because there’s too much a single health worker could handle. The moral distress is high, particularly with the loss of sense of control over this pandemic. Even that, I still couldn’t believe that the resilient me can be burned.
T3. How can a health worker help him/herself and others, out of burnout?
Denial state notwithstanding, I have this moral obligation to do something about my burnout. Perhaps, one way to convince myself that I need help , is to help other health workers both on a personal and systems level. I called out a time out for my team. Not long enough, but not a bad start either. Health workers cannot simply “quit” en masse in a complex health systems. Second, we need to initiate system level safety nets that protect health workers from hazards and toxic work environment. Third and probably the most important, I have to deal with my own “burnt out” issues.
This will be the topic of our #healthxph tweet chat this saturday Oct 16, 2021 9PM Manila time. Please join us with this guide questions:
- T1. How should I know that I am burned out?
- T2. What are the consequences of a health worker burnout?
- T3. How can a health worker help him/herself and others, out of burnout?
Image by Sam Williams from Pixabay
